


Refurbish

by laugh_a_latte



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Birthday Skylar!!, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-30 00:36:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19031173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laugh_a_latte/pseuds/laugh_a_latte
Summary: A lot of things changed between Jeremy and Michael after the Squip, and while those changes were weird at first, Jeremy grew used to them. Now, he finds it's weird when they change back.





	Refurbish

**Author's Note:**

> My amazing friend Sky requested I write some fluff for her birthday (today!!)! I honest to god tried to write fluff, but I think I'm literally incapable of it, so instead I wrote this fluff/angst mix thing?  
> Anyways, I hope you like it!

Jeremy is scrolling through Google Images looking for theatre themed reaction gifs. He has an album saved on his phone full of them for when he texts Christine, and he’s used most of what he already has saved, so he needs to restock. Michael makes a hard left turn, and Jeremy leans into it as he saves a funny Hamilton one. His cell data is just about out, so it takes an agonizingly long time to save. After a few seconds too long of waiting, Jeremy looks up and enters back into the reality outside of Google Image searching.

Michael has two beanie babies squished between the dashboard and windshield in front of Jeremy, so Jeremy takes his refuge there, staring at a tear in the ear of one. He’s so busy waiting and staring and waiting that it takes him a few seconds to notice something is different.

The cassette player is on softly. This is something Jeremy’s grown used to. It was weird at first, back in December, the first time Jeremy was in Michael’s car after the Squip. He was just so used to Michael blasting music so loud the whole block could hear it as they both sang along loudly and extremely off key. Grinning like lunatics and sharing these smirky smiles with each other, laughing and acting out the lyrics. Michael always went for it, and while Jeremy never sang as loud as he did, especially near school, he still liked to watch Michael get excited about it. It was so dumb, but it was just what they did.

But, back in December, a short time after Jeremy got out of the hospital, Michael came by to pick Jeremy up, and something was just off right from the second he pulled up. Jeremy couldn’t quite place it, and it took him until they were a few blocks away from the mall to realize what it was. 

Normally, Jeremy could hear Michael’s music from the front door right when he pulled up. His windows would always be rolled down, if only a crack in the winter, but always down, leaking his music into the world.

But as they pulled into the mall’s parking lot, Jeremy realized the music wasn’t being blasted. It was on, but only enough so it wasn’t dead silent. And no singing, no humming, no anything from Michael. Jeremy stared at Michael, back then, as he realized. The ridiculous grin was replaced with this weird tug of a half smile, and he looked straight ahead, never a glance at Jeremy. It was the most awkward thing for Jeremy, but soon he grew so used to it that he forgot what Michael’s singing voice even sounded like.

And while the radio is still soft today, Michael isn’t silent.

Jeremy glances over, a little shocked. Michael is humming, ever so slightly. He can’t even be aware he’s doing it. He’s staring ahead at the road. 

No, he definitely isn’t aware he’s doing it.

Jeremy looks away, not wanting to be caught staring, because then Michael would realize what he’s doing and stop. And Jeremy doesn’t want him to stop. His heart is suddenly pounding so hard for no reason. Jeremy puts a hand over it, wondering where the sudden adrenaline came from.

Jeremy can hardly focus on his phone screen anymore. He feels weird. Like, he is suddenly so aware of everything. The faux leather seat is slightly sticky and the car smells vaguely of weed. He keeps running his thumb back and forth over the small crack in his phone screen. He feels like he’s sitting wrong, somehow.

He recognizes it as the same hyper-awareness he had back in December, when Michael’s silence was so jarring. But now it’s Michael’s lack of silence causing it, and it’s throwing Jeremy so hard.

And just like December, Michael doesn’t seem aware of it at all.

The music switches to _My Chemical Romance,_ and Jeremy’s heart pounds harder. Michael went through a _My Chemical Romance_ phase at the tail end of sophomore year, and it lasted them through the summer. He got Jeremy pretty into some of the songs, and it just felt so freeing shout out and sing along together in the car. Michael’s phase with the band was just about fading when Jeremy took the Squip. And Jeremy realizes he doesn’t really even know Michael’s opinions of the band anymore, because of the awful timing of everything. And so Jeremy’s heart pounds harder.

Jeremy chances a second glance at Michael and this wave of nostalgia crashes over him so suddenly and unexpectedly that it hurts.

It’s July before Junior year. Michael just got his license and refurbished the cassette player in the car. The compartment between the seats is overflowing with vintage cassettes, many taped over with newer albums and artists. The bugs outside are buzzing. He can smell the dusty air blowing from the broken air conditioning vents, and taste the cherry slushees they drank every single day that summer. The pleather seat burns in the heat, but Jeremy doesn’t care because he’s with his best friend.

And Michael has this slight smile. His hum evolves to mumbling words, and Jeremy can’t pull his gaze away this time.

Michael notices. He glances back at Jeremy. His smile drops on a dime and he shuts up. 

And Jeremy is thrown much too quickly back to the present. The stale air smell is replaced by stale weed, and it’s definitely April and not July, and Michael’s eyes are vacant, if not a little apprehensive, instead of warm. The seat is sticky and Jeremy can’t even remember the last time he had a cherry slushee.

Plus, there’s this awful moment of pure knowing between them that definitely wasn’t there in July, and Jeremy can feel every single thing they don’t talk about anymore, everything they don’t do anymore, everything that he ruined with the Squip, hanging so heavily in the space between them.

And Jeremy does not like that one bit. So he panics, and does the only thing he can think of to fix it. The chorus is coming up.

He takes in Michael’s apprehension, and sings.

“Teenagers scare the livin’ shit outta me,” and Christ, he is so off key, and his voice is weird and cracky and shaky, and just as Jeremy starts to regret his existence, a smile starts creeping up Michael’s face. “They could care less as long as someone’ll bleed,” and this one is full of relief and freedom, and Jeremy feels his own smile form as the vacancy in Michael’s eyes fills up with this wonder. Then, Michael snorts at Jeremy, takes a deep breath, and joins in.

“So darken your clothes, or strike a vi-o-lent pose,” Michael has to look back at the road before he hits a tree, but that gives Jeremy the chance to really see Michael. His brilliant eyes and smile, real and bright, and Michael scrunches up his nose as he sings the higher notes, _just_ like he used to, and Jeremy’s hand falls over his heart again, but for a different reason this time.

“Maybe they’ll leave you alone, but not me!”

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday, Sky, ilysm! <3
> 
> (They're singing Teenagers by MCR if anyone was wondering!)


End file.
